My Notes

• Didn’t think RIE approach was being explored with poor and young parents to full potential. (I am interested in this) p 10
• If she had known about RIE, she believes her own parenting would have been much easier (writing topic: I found parenting to be much easier than how I’d heard it described by most others) p 10
• Babies who are understood better are easier to care for. p 11
• Plea for improved subsidies for young children. p 15
• Importance of leadership and management when implementing RIE in facilities. p 15
• Growth of joy as parents learn about and implement RIE. p 15
• Importance of attachment theory. p 20
• Child care policies tend to focus on the needs of adults to the detriment of children. p 21
• Importance of self-directed play. p 22
• Rigorous system of evaluating effectiveness and scientific inquiry into gross motor development at Loczy. p 22
• Original nurses spent more time caring for linens than children. Fired all and hire new nurses they could train. p 23
• Children were able to be subjects, not objects at Loczy. had as much choice as possible, allowed to express themselves even if adult agenda had to be followed. p 24
• Continuity established by elaborate note-takeing shared between caregivers. p 24
• Gerber worked for some years as a child therapist (what type of therapist?). p 25
• Magda says lifestyle in US makes it very hard to raise a baby the way Emmi wanted. p 26
• Through DIP program, Magda developed way of helping parents observe their children. Also modeled respectful interaction with infants without disempowering or deskilling their carers. (I want to become skilled at this). p 26
• Taught when and how to intervene by being available without being intrusive. p 16
• Very different than teaching parents how to work with a generic baby. p 26
• Children have a right to information and autonomy, as well as consistent loving care. Adults must accept responsibility of authority and be honest about it while allowing the child to express anger or be upset. p 27
• High rate of foster/adoption placement breakdown, unless it is early adoption of healthy infants. 🙁 p 29
• “Observing, thinking, caring for children and teaching were not separate activities to [Pikler & Gerber] but part of a unified approach. They had to find better ways to care for children because the children were there to be cared for; they could not wait.” p 30
• Policies promote paid work as the way out of poverty. This means that day care is required. Subsidies are a priority subsequently. p 31
• Pre-school is provided free for 3-4 year olds but tends to take place in schools. Concerns about this because formalized schooling is known to not be good for young children. p 31
• Little collective responsibility for children in western countries. They are instead seen to be the responsibility of the parents. Places a lot of economic pressure on families. p 33
• Can tell if people are authentically applying RIE principles rather than imitation without understanding. Sometimes people do things very differently but she can tell they understand the principles. p 37
• Basic principle is to trust baby’s inborn capacities. Our role is to create an environment where the child can best do what he wants naturally. This is very difficult in US where entire society is pushing you constantly. p 37 
• “Through regular routines, babies eventually learn to anticipate what is expected of them. This is the beginning of discipline.” p 44
• “Knowing when to give infants freedom and when to introduce limits is most important, and is the backbone of the RIE approach. We need to remember that limits function as traffic signals, keeping things flowing smoothly between family members. With this framework are those things a child is expected to do (non-negotiable areas), what she is allowed to do (negotiable areas), what is tolerated (“I don’t really like that, but I can understand why you need to do it”), and what is forbidden. These are the parameters of discipline.” p 44
• “If a child spends hours playing uninterruptedly, he will be much more willing to cooperate with the demands of his parent. If he doesn’t have to fight for autonomy, he can comfortably relinquish it once in a while.” p 44
• “We at RIE would like to see parent support happen as a by-product of our classes, but it is not our main purpose. Our classes are designed to be infant as well as adult-oriented, in that we focus on the infant’s initiations, needs and cues, demonstrating sensitive and appropriate ways of responding to them. We try to model ways in which the needs of o=infants and parents can be synchronized. We believe this will help parents more in the long run than if we were to emphasize solely parent-support activities. Many parents also bring with them the expectation that they will receive quick and ready explanations and solutions about parenting and infancy. In our hectic world the standard way to learn about anything is to pick up a “how-to” book on a given subject and start reading, or to go to a class and have the instructor tell us what to do. In my opinion, this is short-term learning, and it usually doesn’t work.”
• RIE parent-infant classes, by their very nature, rely on and encourage long-term learning. Our classes are eight weeks long. Effective parenting cannot be learned or “taught” in eight weeks. The goal in our classes is for parents to observe and really see their infants. The classes are divided into two sections. In the first, parents ease their infants into a prepared environment, then move back to a spot where they can sit quietly and watch as the RIE demonstrator interacts with the infants. We ask parents to try to remain in the same place throughout the observation period, so that their babies will always be able to find them. This gives the babies the requisite security they need in order to move away from their parents, accept the attention of the demonstrator, and get involved in exploring the environment and the other infants. The fact that that parent is there allows the baby to let go of the parent. The RIE demonstrator will meanwhile pay full attention to the babies, responding to their cues, and helping them either directly or by not helping them. With her soft voice and slow movements she will try to create an atmosphere of peace and quiet. After observation of about one hour, the RIE instructor will lead a parent discussion to talk over issues that have arisen during the class as well as at home.” p 46
• Story of swim class that babies did not enjoy but parents did and didn’t seem to notice their babies not enjoying it. p 47
• “I recommend that parents form small groups in which their babies are the “actors” and “scriptwriters.” The parents can then watch, learn, and enjoy.” p 47
• “During the RIE parent-infant classes we are trying to impart a quality of experience — a way of relating that can be used at all levels of growth. In the long run, our goal is to help parents learn to live and let live with their infants and later their older children.” p 47
• Difficult to meet needs of infant because though usually well meaning, caregivers are generally low pay, low status, few models, poor training, high turnover, etc. p 48
• Focus is on two areas: 1) time spent with adult during caring, 2) time spent alone, freely exploring the environment. Only a child who receives undivided attention fro his educarer during all routine caregiving activities will be free and interested to explore his environment without needing too much intervention from the educarer.” p 48
• Difference between good average carer and trained educarer (from page 49-50):

• Offering high-quality care using RIE is easier than offering low-quality care. p 51
• “Appropriate curriculum for infants should not be a special teaching plan added to their daily activities, but rather it should be incorporated in the infants’ every experience.” p 54
• This must be in the context of respectful relationships between adults, as well as between an adult carer and an infant. p 54
• “Essential to best practice is comprehensive knowledge of the little recognized stages of natural motor development in infants.” p 56
• Charts by Klara Pap of natural gross motor development. p 56
• Magda believed strongly that effective teaching comes through demonstration and internalization of ways of working. p 57 
• “As RIE’s purpose is to foster the development of healthy, competent, cooperative, creative children, taking an infant’s need for both interdependence and independence into consideration, a model of a cooperative relationship must be adopted from the beginning of the infant/adult relationship.” p 57
• “Signs of the infant’s growing competence may not only be unnoticed and unappreciated by the adult, but even thwarted if the old model of “baby as dependent” remains. And if the infant does not see recognition of her competence reflected in the adult’s eyes, then it could go unnoticed and unappreciated by the infant herself.” p 58
• “Interference has a negative effect on the qualities of grace, surety, and the child’s sensory awareness of her own movements. In addition, development of initiative, judgement, coping skills and satisfaction in controlling one’s own efforts are rooted in early, natural, unassisted motor development supported by a safe environment and a secure relationship.” p 58
• “RIE values freedom of emotion as well as of motion, accepting the full range of a child’s feelings with equanimity. In time, the child can come to recognize them, and be able to deal with them in a constructive way. As Jackins has argued, crying is not the hurt, it is the release or healing of the hurt.” p 60
• “I often wonder if in attempting to teach infants how to play, adults foster short attention spans. Infants engaged in the discovery process have long attention spans.” p 73
• RIE recommends being specific when making comments about play (ex. I see you are very interested in rolling that ball). This sends message we are really paying attention and helps with language development.
• Relationship-based philosophy: “I want to know and understand who you are and I’m prepared to help you understand and know who I am.” p 84
• Many adults who work with infants believe they already know what’s best for infants. p 84 
• “It’s interesting to note that when a caregiver becomes skilled in this approach with children, it also enables her to create a more respectful relationship with adults.” p 84
• “Diapering should be a pleasant time for both the adult and the child. When adults expect that the child can and will be a willing participant, it becomes an opportunity for developing a close relationship. There are times when the child might fuss or giggle around and then the sensitive adult slows down and allows the child some time to adjust and help with the task. The child’s sense of self begins to emerge during this kind of caring routine. During meaningful interactions, the child may attempt to engage the adult in a playful exchange, similar to teasing. This can become an opportunity for the child to learn to negotiate if the adult joins in the play. Adults who are focused on the task rather than the relationship feel rushed and often miss the child’s attempt to engage them.” p 87
• “Toddlers are more active than infants but are not yet pre-schoolers. Many programs make the common mistake of creating a toddler environment and curriculum similar to the pre-school program. While it appears toddlers are ready to learn through group activities, this is not always true. In an effort to control the active toddler who is not ready to work in groups, an inexperienced caregiver is often drawn into “entertaining” the children. When a child does not participe, she sees the child as difficult and might take inappropriate measures to discipline the child. The can often weaken the adult/child relationship because the toddler, at the critical stage “autonomy vs. shame and doubt,” feels shame or anger, and the child is labeled difficult in the caregiver’s mind.” p 90
• “Caregivers must be emotionally healthy and be open to diversity, accepting of each family’s unique culture and lifestyle. Likewise, caregivers must be committed to their own professional growth and development.” p 90
• “RIE works on the premise that learners across the life span take a more active role in the educational process if they learn in relationships with each other. Those who teach infant caregivers attempt to engage students actively in their education, and involving parents of very young children in the educational arena is a widely accepted strategy in the US. A collaborative learning model can be more effective than the limited “professional expert” model and, indeed, that model has been questioned in complex Western societies as our understanding of diversity and difference has increased.” p 93
• “Babies from birth on try to communicate how they feel. If your attitude is, “I cannot know automatically what you need, please tell me”, then the baby will learn to give you cues, and a dialogue will develop. If, on the other hand, a mother superimposes her interpretation of the baby’s problems, the infant will unlearn to expect appropriate responses to her hees, and learn to accept what mother offers. This is the difference between being understood and misunderstood. Being understood creates security, trust and confidence. Being misunderstood creates doubt both in yourself and in the problem.” Magda Gerber. p 96
• “Parents are treated very gently. Certain expectations of the supportive environment need to be articulated as “ground rules” for adult interactions. Modeling the respectful approach, staff do not judge, directly admonish or blame parents. Parents may choose to use self-reflection and also may choose to share insights with the group without judgement or criticism imposed on one another. No one ever says: “Don’t do that; you will damage your child” or “This is the right way to do it.” The parent-educator brings parents’ attention to the large and small changes in their child’s abilities and competencies. Naturally, the parents are already in communication with their child and can often translate a child’s need (by the tone of a cry from example) to the demonstrator. Noticing that they already have special knowledge about their child’s needs is a positive reinforcement of parenting abilities.” p 102-103
• “Always the emphasis is on the parent’s need to make conscious choices, to examine why they make specific choices, and the necessity of doing what feels comfortable and right to the parent. A parent attempting to adopt a pedagogical method that is unfamiliar and not fully understood cannot help but give confused messages to a baby. It is better for both parent and infant if the parent does what feels natural and at the same time self-observes, becoming more conscious of her/his own behavior and trying to discover why a particular response or reaction feels right. Is it also important for the facilitator to support this process in which parents become clearer about what they value or appreciate, and observer how the baby actually responds to their behavior.” p 103
• “16 to 24 months: As baby gets closer to talking, mom increasing expects the baby to alert her to problems, rather than anticipating or decoding baby’s expressions or gestures. The great day comes when the toddler realizes he can get an adult involved in a verbal dialogue. “What’s dat?” (pointing again), “What’s dat?” ad infinitum. The child can now capture and direct the adult’s attention whenever and wherever he wants to. The power of words!” p 105. (Never heard any other parenting book talk about this).
• “An expert parent-educator/facilitator can really encourage animated and honest discussion between parents, even when their viewpoints differ. This is particularly valuable in ensuring the inclusion of families and children from diverse communities or who have special educational or physical needs. The key seems to be valuing all contributions and validating them as a reflection of each individual’s experience. Exchanging ideas and ways of dealing with the same problem gives parents a chance to consider the possibility of alternative solutions.” p 106
• “Parents are encouraged to think and talk about what feels comfortable for them and for their babies. We discuss where these feelings come from: our own forgotten infancy. parenting we observed or experienced as older children or as siblings, what we have heard and read, and our socio-cultural traditions and values. We encourage parents to parent by choice, as they feel, to be sincere and authentic, and know why what they do is right for them and for their baby. We encourage thinking and mindful decision-making about parenting, rather than just reacting or letting whatever happens happen. No one can be totally consistent, that wouldn’t even be helpful to babies or parents, but it is possible to be more consistent and more content when we are doing what feels right to us. In RIE parent-infant guidance classes, parents become the experts on their own baby.” p 107
• “Intervention must highlight the strengths that families have, rather than underscoring the weaknesses. RIE’s non-deficit model features empowerment as a process of change, over time, for parents of young children from any section of society.” p 107
• Example of government funded RIE program in California. p 107
• Examples of what parents learned during the program 🙂 p 108
• “Expression of alternative viewpoints is encouraged and so adults learn the value of conflict when generating multiple perspectives.” p 109
• “The essentials for this learning experience are: small groups, a long, unhurried time, a carefully prepared, safe space, a trained parent-educator/facilitator and demonstrator, and a relaxed, sharing atmosphere. Within this context the child can be truly valued just as he or she is. And the parent can be valued as well. Parents see the weekly gathering of families as a very special opportunity for peaceful checking-in on their lives and relationships. Many find support for their “authentic” expression via mutual sharing of concerns in the safe space where there’s nothing to do. Rather, it is a time to be, to connect with others and their own baby, especially for those returning with their second or third child.” p 110
• Magda taught that the struggle is the essence of learning. p 113
• Favorite Article: Give Them What You Want Them To Give The Babies. p 114
• Magda challenged people’s thinking yet validated their experiences and thinking. p 119
• “How they see the child is how the child will become. Understand their vision of the child and help them see yours.” The lesson of Magda Gerber. p 119
• RIE on the outside: They knew the words, went through the motions, but failed to internalize the philosophy. p 120. Understand their vision and help them see yours. 
• Lessons
  • 1. Give the adult what you want them to give to the babies.
  • 2. Create an environment where each adult feels emotionally safe, yet intellectually challenged.
  • 3. Work hard to understand each person and help them to understand themselves.
  • 4. Work hard to develop the skills and confidence it takes to share the philosophy with others. 
  • 5. Understand your students and be responsive to their issues and concerns. Be prepared to adjust your course, lecture or workshop to meet their needs. 
  • 6. Understand their vision of the child and help them understand yours. 
  • 7. Remember: you can’t teach RIE to the mother in line at the grocery store but you can acknowledge she has a hard job… and you can let her go in front of you in line. 
• It is the most vulnerable children who could benefit most from RIE. p 127
• The voices of very young children tend to be silent in the marketplace. p 128
• Yet services tend to be consumer driven, intentionally. p 129
• “… affluent societies tend to exclude and constrain very young children, in many ways creating a dependency upon adults that is neither protective nor facilitative of growth.” p 132
• “Parenting is the most important influence on children and young people’s outcomes. We need to shift away from associating parenting support with crisis interventions to a more consistent offer of parenting support throughout a young person’s life.” p 133
• Emmi Pikler and Magda Gerber were remarkably silent about abuse.. more about this. p 134
• Tendency to split caring and education, particularly in early years and why this is a problem. p 135
• Use of caregiving routines as the central element in learning and development of babies is very difficult to find in practice, though often recommended by child care theorists and trainers. p 139

My Notes

• “Many parents, teachers, physicians, and other professionals spend time and energy trying to speed up development, to force children to do what they cannot do, or to teach them what they are not yet capable of. How sad. Nobody gains except the many who take money by manufacturing gadgets which supposedly speed up the natural developmental process.”
• “While some people may respond to the voice of reason and begin to question what is really best for their infants, I fear many more will be lured by multi-colored parachutes and flash cards of painters and brain parts. As a result, more and more babies will be tossed up in the air, taught irrelevant information, treated like objects, and fed data like computers. It is like force feeding the child with food he or she cannot digest.”
• “Parents may try so hard to “teach” their children that they do not realize just what the children are learning from them. When infants do not understand what is being asked of them, all they learn is to respond to their parents’ cues, however unintentional they may be — facial expression, tone of voice, subtle gestures. Infants learn to perform, like elephants in the circus—not appreciated for just being themselves, but for doing tricks.”
• “Parents may not realize the high price they may have to pay for their ambitious endeavors to speed up infancy and interfere with natural growth. They may never connect early stressful training with problems frequently encountered later on: from sleeping and eating disorders to nervous and self-destructive behaviors (hair-pulling, nail-biting, stuttering, nervous tics, or anorexia); from disinterest, bored and unmotivated students to early school dropouts and drug abusers. While the effect of any environment is dependent on the child’s personality, vulnerability and resilience some of these children may need intensive psychotherapy at some point. But I have yet to hear of a single case in which a person (coming from loving parents and an average, responsive environment) sought therapy because he or she had not been taught enough during infancy.” p 152-153
• “I consider safety the prerequisite for implementing the RIE approach. By safety I mean an environment which is so totally safe that, even without adult supervision, the infant or toddler would be totally safe…” p 157
• “I wish children could grow according to their natural pace: sleep when sleepy, wake up when rested, eat when hungry, cry when upset, express feelings, play and explore without being unnecessarily interrupted; in other words, be allowed to grow and blossom as each was meant to.” p 163
• Recommended reading from Magda: The Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm (purchased)
• Favorite Article: Does RIE Make a Difference? p 171

My Notes

• “ …. the seed of natural development is in every living being; be it plant, animal, or human it does not need to be “helped” to develop.” Charlotte Sever. p 1
• “Emmi Pikler proved that teaching a baby something she could learn by herself was not only unnecessary but harmful, depriving the beginning being of experimenting independently and of the energy this involves, as well as the delight of reaching a goal. Elsa Gindler and Heinrich Jacoby recognized the damage brought about by early interference with the baby and the growing child, interference which inhibited his curiosity and spontaneity….” Charlotte Sever. p 1
• “The most important thing has not yet been mentioned; namely that an infant’s own movements, the development of these movements and every detail of this development are a constant source of joy to him.” Emmi Pikler. p 12
• “If one does not interfere, an infant will learn to turn, roll, creep on the belly, go on all fours, stand, sit, and walk with no trouble. This will not happen under pressure, but out of her own initiative — independently, with joy, and pride in her achievement — even though she may sometimes get angry, and cry impatiently.” Emmi Pikler. p 12
• “What is most important, however, is not the result, but the way to it. This learning process will play a major role in the whole later life of the human being. Through this kind of development, the infant learns his ability to do something independently, through patient and persistent effort.” Emmi Pikler. p 12
• “Unfortunately, many mothers don’t sufficiently appreciate their infant’s efforts to move. They don’t even notice that they discourage their infant’s development. On the contrary, they are usually even proud of what they are doing. While on the one hand these mothers obstruct the unfolding of movement and don’t allow the stretching, rolling and creeping, on the other hand they push an infant into movements which she cannot manage at that time.They do not allow a child to quietly experiment while lying on her back, but, instead, turn her over, sit her up, stand her up, walk her around supported by adult’s hands. Mothers urge these movements at the time when they think, “This would be the right time to learn them.”” Emmi Pikler. p 12-13
• “It would be better if mothers did not brag to each other–in this way, for example: “My daughter never crawled,” or “My son does not want to turn himself from the back to the belly, he already clings to the edge of the pram in order to sit up. That’s what interests him.” It would be better if those mothers would think about what mistake caused this behavior–why certain development stages in the motor development have been left out. The pride of these mothers arises from an error. Each believes that her child develops differently from others because her child is skillful, is smart. It is true, however, that the smarter a child is, the more joy that child will find in development of movements and the more quickly progress will be make in learning more and more movements–in other words, the more quickly he will make progress in motor development.” Emmi Pikler. p 15
• “A growing tree diverges from its upright direction only when either internal disease or external circumstances hinder its upright growing. Motor development also is an organic chain of specific developmental stages. It, too, can be diverted from its course only through diseases or through circumstances which disturb it from the outside. Thus, the motor development of an infant will only get off course if that infant cannot move in the way she wants.” Emmi Pikler. p 15
• “We must not demand from the child that his clothes look as though they came fresh from the closet, or the child will become like the clothes: stiff and lifeless.” p 15
• “We hinder the child when we encourage it, spur it on and ask it to perform certain movements. Also when we acknowledge certain “accomplishments” in an exaggerated way. As an example: a toddler tries things out, experiments attentively, with pleasure, immersed in himself. He is the middle of attempting something in which he might be successful… maybe. But in this moment the storm breaks! “Look, the baby is standing!” – “He can stand already!” “Do it again!” “Stand up again.” “Show daddy how a little boy stands!” “Come, I’ll help you!” “Come, give me your hand!” The effect of all this incalculable. The child’s attention to what he is attempting and his experimenting with his movements is being distracted. He discovers that he can influence his audience with what he does. It is commonly known what toddlers are capable of doing to please their audience! As a consequence, the child will not experiment with what is called for by his development and its moment-to-moment condition; he will not try out what gives him pleasure, but that which he assumes will please the adults.” Emmi Pikler. p 15-16
• “Taking both hand of the infant, pulling it up and forcing it into a standing position: “The baby is standing!” The child is standing in a forced, insecure position, but is standing. (Later she laughs, is even happy, seeing that the adults that surround her are happy, acknowledging and praising her accomplishment.) The child, however, cannot correct the cramped, stiff, bad standing. She is not mature enough, either physically or mentally. If she were, she would get up by iherself without being forced. When forced by others’ hands, the child cannot correct the mistakes of her “accomplishment.” Getting used to it is all that can be done, and establishing a physical posture in accordance with what has become habitual. When mature enough to experiment with a better posture, the child is no longer bothered by the bad posture. Even worse: the more she stands, the bigger her body gets, the greater the ailments grow. Often the arch of the foot lessens of does not develop at all. The knees are straight (too straight: pushed backwards) and the area of the sacrum is out of line with the rest of the body; the back becomes round; etc. The weaker joints get loose from too big a burden and lose their original elasticity.” Emmi Pikler. p 16
• “If an otherwise healthy infant is “bored”, “bad-tempered”, or “high-strung” (as it is called) these tendencies always are the result of the behavior of the environment — or, to be more percise, of mistakes in upbring. What mistakes are these? Usually the child is seen as a toy or as a “doll”, rather than a human being… “ Emmi Pikler. p 18 — This whole section is so, so good.
• “Many mothers believe that they are caring for their children best when they do everything as fast a possible: “One, two, three and done!” That’s not the way to be. Whenever we are doing something with a child, we should never be in a hurry. Even in the speed of our motions we should adjust to the child, who prefers it when we are calm and take time with him…” Emmi Pikler. p 21
• “We do not force a toy on a child; we don’t put anything into his hand….We never take over a child’s playing, and never expect a child to play in the manner we imagine she should….” Emmi Pikler. p 23
• Favorite Article: Forty Years at Loczy. By Judit Falk

My Notes

• Read Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving (1956). p 6
• Favorite Article: Day Care Centers, by Magda Gerber. p24
  • Wondering how much of this is still true?
• “What are the infant’s needs, beyond those for food, rest, warmth, and hygiene? Most people would respond, “love and cognitive stimulation.” They try to meet the need for love by rocking, fondling, and body contact. They try to meet the need for cognitive stimulation with objects, teaching materials, and lesson plans. They separate education from routine caregiving activities.” Magda Gerber. p 25
• Emmi Pikler advocated for non-interference in gross motor development. She suggested that “by allowing the child freedom of movement, parents would develop respect for their baby’s individual tempo and style in other areas of development as well.” p 52
• At Loczy there is “careful organization of space, time, and interpersonal relations.” p 53
• “Respect is the guiding principle in situations other than routine care. It can best be defined as selective intervention and is based upon sensitive observation. Knowing when not to interfere is often more important and generally more difficult than indiscriminate intervention.” p 56
• Gross Motor Development Section: “…a child restricted from moving freely is deprived of the long hours of exercising in transitional postures before mastering the next developmental skill.” p 59
• Hazards of overstimulation: “Until recently, infant programs were analogous to infant stimulation programs. The appeal of infant teaching and stimulation appears to be undergoing reconsideration, with concerns about the hazards of overstimulation now being expressed. We are not moving into a period where “the term ‘infant stimulation’ is misleading and should not be used in identifying educational programs appropriate for young infants and their parents” (Bromwitch). The basic philosophy of Loczy could be represented by bruner” “There is inherent in the description given of the growth of infant skill and emphasis on self-initiated, intentional behavior. Surely the chief practical recommendation one would have to make… is that the infant should be encouraged to venture, rewarded for venturing his own acts, and sustained against distraction or premature interferences in carrying them out. It is a point of view very alien from such ideas as presenting “deprivation’ or providing enrichment, both of which are highly passive conceptions”.” p 60
• Loczy guidelines are:
  • Basic trust in the child as a self-learner and initiator
  • An environment for the child that is physically safe, emotionally nurturing and consistent
  • Intimate human relation with one primary carer
  • Concept-free observation of the child
  • Minimal interruption of the child at play; large amounts of time allotted to play
  • Independence for the child in movement, choice, activities
  • Involvement of the child in all activities with the carer
  • Respect for all human beings, including infants
• “And the infant? What does he say? He adjusts or he revolts. When he adjusts and keeps quiet, it is taken as proof that what we did was good for him. And when he cries, the circle begins. We put him down or pick him up; we rock him or ignore him, feed him, play with him, put him in a bouncer, give him a new toy. One sometimes wonders — the infant must be miraculously resilient, or is he? If we look around the adult population, we wonder if perhaps we pay a high price for adapting to such a confused upbringing.” Magda Gerber. p 64
• “We are a preventive mental health program, not a day care center.” Magda Gerber. p 65
• “…selective intervention… that allows the child to reveal himself, to make his own choices, and to evolve his own style of mastery.” Magda Gerber. p 66
• “Infant and parent education as well as training and consultation occur simultaneously. They are interwoven, creating the matrix of the DOP. It is one thing to present a philosophy of child rearing, but no matter how impressive it may sound, it is quite another to apply it in everyday situations. This is why our program is based on demonstration. Though directly we only reach small numbers of infants and mothers and trainees, we are a visible model which shows how respect is our guideline every time an adult talks to, cares for, and even thinks of infants.” Magda Gerber. p 66
• Favorite Article: Notes on the Demonstration Infant Program
• “Many parents feel weary from the relentless ongoing life with a dependent child. Parents have needs too, which often get shortcut when faced with a nagging child. There is an easier way of life with a child, which is demonstrated in the process of the class.” Phyllis Sletten. p 70 
• “In our California programs, the emphasis is similarly on obwervation, anticipation, and selective intervention. Observing her child helps the mother or carer to learn about individual characteristics of her child adn to realize what she can reasonably expect of him at any given developmental level. This, in turn, helps the mother synchronize her behavior with the child’s needs, tempo and style. Anticipating each other’s reactions fosters mutual understanding, acceptance, and basic trust for both mother and child; thus, anticipation becomes the forerunner of communication. Selective intervention means knowing when not to intervene, and this is more difficult than intervening indiscriminately.” Maga Gerber. p 79
• “… our goals are influenced by our concept of an ideal human being as one who has some or many of the following characteristics: realistic trust in himself and his environment, perception of his inner needs and ability to communicate them, the ability to make choices for himself, which includes knowing and accepting the consequences of his choices, flexibility, and the capacity to learn from past experiences, the ability to deal actively with the present and play for the future, and free access to his creative talents and resources. Further, he is goal-oriented and also enjoys the process of problem solving, whether physical, emotional, or cognitive. Identification with these ideals implies that we have to critically examine child-rearing practices in order to determine which would facilitate and /or hinder the emergence of the desired characteristics in infancy.” Magda Gerber. p 79
• Favorite Article: Form Stress to Distress
• “Parents are the first and most important teachers of their children. But parents have gotten so busy and are trying so hard to “teach” their children that they do not realize just what the children are learning from them. Children who are taught to pick the “right” picture or give the “right” answer learn to please. They do not understand the questions, which have no meaning for them, so they cannot make a real choice’ all they learn is to respond to their parent’s cues. Parents may, even unintentionally, give clues such as facial expression, tone of voice, or subtle gestures. Infants learn to perform, like an elephant in the circus who is not appreciated for just being an elephant, but for doing tricks.” Magda Gerber. p 82-83
• “On the other hand, our children have never been taught to perform certain skills which are generally taught. Loczy has encountered a great deal of criticism and controversy on this point. Yet we insist on continuing not to teach the children these skills. What are the skills we refuse to teach our children? The infant is never put in a more advanced position, in order to promote gross motor development, than he is able to attain by himself from a basic supine position. His attention is never drawn to a toy by placing the toy in his hand, or having it dangle over his head, thus compelling him to notice it. Finally, we also make a point of not including social contact between the infants, in conformity with adult ideas. As a matter of principle, we refrain from teaching skills and activities which under suitable conditions will evolve through the child’s own initiative and independent activity. Naturally, we must provide the children suitable conditions — that is, freedom for activity and adequate space. Their environment must be stable, varied, and colorful.” Emmi Pikler. p 87
• Favorite Article: Forms of Hospitalism in Our Days, Emmi Pikler
• “A caretaker who does not usually look after a child will not know the child entrusted to her; a nurse who takes turns in varying groups does not really know any of the children. If she is competent and dedicated, she may get a look from one child, a smile from another, some cooperation from a third child, and peace and quiet in the whole group; but she will not even realize that no real contact has been established with the children. The interactions which may be formed are mostly scanty and stereotyped. She does not know their habits, nor do the children know hers; she is not aware what their crying or gestures mean and is accordingly unable to respond to the needs of the children. Hence, the signs emitted by the children become scarce and increasingly scant, while the caretaker’s work gets mechanical, often indifferent.” Judit Falk. p 120
• Favorite Article: Educaring, Interpersonal Neuroscience, and Selective Intervention, Ruth Anne Hammond
• If a parent had a less than sensitive caregiver as a child, they may struggle to understand and respond to their babies’ needs. p 151
• “I want to emphasize that all parents do the very best they know how to dom and never, ever, should be subject to negative judgements; this is never helpful. They need to receive the same compassion and space for growth that we advocate for infants. There is an attachment history inside every person. This includes facilitators, and some insight into one’s own attachment style is important before embarking on helping others.” Ruth Anne Hammond. p 151
• Parents who want to do better than what they received will look for info in books, etc. Gerber realized this is not always the best way to learn. Her method of meeting to learn to sensitively observe their babies was brilliant and is very effective. p 151
• “What is remarkable about this format is the level of protection given to the infants’ autonomy. By discouraging the parents from stimulating the children during class, Magda gave the parents the opportunity to see what their infants were interested in without outside suggestion or coercion, what they could do on their own without help, and how they related to the other infants and adults in the group. We call this quiet observation time” because the adults still themselves to make way for the infants or toddlers to find out what interests them without coercion of anky kind.” Ruth Anne Hammond. p 151
• Parents are often surprised by how capable their infants are and become advocates for children’s rights. p 152
• “If a child is cared for with consistency and sensitivity to her needs and capacities, she will develop securely, with an assumption that people can be trusted to help in times of need and to collaborate in creating happiness. If a child’s important caregivers are not consistently available to meet the child’s physical and emotional needs, insecure patterns will form. The child will become a person with less trust in others and himself, and be less able to handle stress and live happily. Ruth Anne Hammond. p 152
• Baby learns about his emotions by seeing them reflected on his mother’s face, if she is sufficiently sensitive and attuned. If he doesn’t have this experience in early life, he may never be as understanding or able to read other’s emotions. p 154
• Even adults need others to interactively co-regulate, though different than ways of young children. p 155
• Quality of early care is extremely important. Advocated delaying the return to work as long as possible. p 156
• Selective intervention. Adults can pay attention to the child and refrain from intervening when the child shows a tolerable level of distress as this can help the child to learn to manage challenges on her own. p 156
• Poorly coordinated interventions interfere with a baby’s ability to self-regulate. p 156
• Baby learns to make sense of experiences through the mother’s response. If the mother is overly concerned, the baby can learn that. If the mother is calm, the baby learns that. A mother who is sensitively observing, not doing anything, is still felt by the baby as true support. p 157
• As caregivers, we should give our attention to the meaning that children seem to be making. Our mere attention to their process determines what qualities are encoded in their brains. p 157 
• The main task of parents and caregivers is to be connected enough to be able to see if our baby needs help or not. p 159
• It is more important to support emotional connections than cognitive learning. p 159
• “… it is more important to read the baby than to read to the baby.” p 159
• “… if self-regulation is composed of a combination of co-regulation and auto-regulation, the sensitive adult is actually co-regulating when allowing an infant a chance to auto-regulate. Allowing a child (when he is not stressed to the far reaches of his regulatory boundaries) appropriate opportunities to auto-regulate is not abandonment; it is discernment. It is, as Magda coined it, selective intervention.” Ruth Anne Hammond. p 159
• Favorite Article: When We Touch the Infant’s Body, bu Judit Falk. p 162
• “High-quality care enables the child, by his innate ability, to get to know about “live in” his body, to find pleasure in its functioning and to learn from it, and to realize that his skin forms a natural boundary between himself and the rest of the world.” Judit Falk. p 162
• An infant learns to make sense of his experiences of his body sensations and needs through interaction with the caregiver. At first they are just unpleasant. The caregiver helps him to learn to understand them. p 163
• “If the child can trust to be able to influence the events happening to him, if he can feel that he is not a possessive receiver, but an active participant of his care, then his sense of competence will grow stronger. If he is never dealt with as if he was an object — be it either precious or worthless — but as a human being who feels, watches, remembers, and understands or will understand… ., if the words and gestures are not only nice but they also consider the sensitivity of the child continuously, then a real dialogue will form between the two partners during nursing, starting at the youngest age.” Judit Falk. p 164
• “The authentic behavior of the adult is part of the good care. What this means is that every detail of the child’s well-being, every reaction, mimic, tone, and intonation of his body, is important to her, and she is aware that what she is doing with him has an effect on not only him in the present but also his future.” Judit Falk. p 165
• “The genuinely participating infant takes part in the care with the pleasure of “I am doing it myself.” From time to time he also allows himself to concentrate on something else, to move around, or to turn the adult’s attention to something else, and the cooperating adult accepts these detours as much as possible.” Judit Falk. p 166
• The image that the young infant creates of his own body, based on the experiences of the first few months or years of his life, will deeply influence his future. His care during infancy will affect his entire life, [his] personality, his self-image, the development of his self-consciousness and his sexual well-being, and his adult behavior as a parent. His relationship to his own body and its functioning depends on the quality of the care, its being pleasant or unpleasant, and the good or bad feeling of the adult nursing him.” Judit Falk. p 167
• Favorite Article: Facilitating the Play of Children at Loczy. Anna Tardos. p 168
• Many definitions of play, here using the term to mean a chance for uninhibited free activity, in most cases using an object to play with.
• “In no way do we see our task to teach children how to play or stimulate them to play. We are learning from the children how to play, rather than the children learning from us.” Anna Tardos. p 168
• “Our basic premise in facilitating children’s play is that our help must always be indirect. We offer possibilities; the child makes the choice. For example, it is our task to provide toys, but we never put any toy into the infant’s hand.” Anna Tardos. p 168
• Favorite Article: The Pikler-Loczy Philosophy — Loczy Research and Current Popular Views. p 172
• Pikler encourages cooperation from an early age. When baby gets old enough to assert will, adults start to cooperate with baby and appreciate his developing will. 🙂 p 196
• “Go slow. And then go slower.” Magda Gerber. p 204
• “… a large part of burnout has to do with continuing to work in systems that are broken, acting in ways that are not in accordance with our inner voices, and drudging through processes that have problems and waste time.” Deborah Greenwald. p 218
• “We need to remember to trust ourselves, and to listen to our inner barometers. Do you need to make a change, speak to someone, listen to someone? Vault?” Deborah Greenwald. p 219
• Magda relished intense discussions, “Go ahead, disagree with me–I love it!” p 220
• “Are your expectations reasonable? Is your environment supporting you? What can you change to make life easier for you and the babies?” p 220
• “A still and silent child is not obedient, he is annihilated.” Maria Montessori.
• Bedtime ritual. Maybe 3 steps instead of 10. Do something that is sustainable everyday. Do we feel pumped up or drained? We can tell the difference. p 220
• Making a mistake is okay, what matters is repair. p 223